Let's Get Real About Anxiety: What It Is, Is It Normal, Being A New Mom, How to Handle It.

***DISCLAIMER***: I am not a doctor. I am just a random mom who likes to write and really hopes that maybe I can help someone. That being said, the content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.

If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, go to the emergency department, or call 911 immediately. Thank you!***

Oh, anxiety. If you are one of the 40 million adults living here in the US who suffer from it, you just know. If you're like me, you already know what it is, how to potentially handle it, and that even though you are clearly not alone, it sure feels like it when that anxiety creeps up on you for a little panic attack.

I have suffered from anxiety for over a decade. I will never forget my very first panic attack. I thought I was going to die. Clearly, I am still here today, and I have had ups and downs with anxiety attacks. In 2009, I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and given a well-known medication called Xanax. I ended up taking it every day for at least 6 months. I do recall at that time I was dealing with a relationship breakup and a death of a friend of mine, so no doubt these circumstances played a part in my stress and anxiety. Over the next few years, my anxiety started to wax and wane and I even had a good time period of at least 2 years where I was completely off of any sort of anti-anxiety medication.

But then, I had a baby. Just as much joy and happiness my baby brought to me and my family, anxiety came back and struck me out of nowhere. I wasn't expecting it at all. I had known other moms who suffered from postpartum depression and anxiety but I never imagined I would being dealing with it, too. It didn't start right away, either. I was about 4 months in before I started showing symptoms of anger, fear, excessive crying (and sometimes, for no real good reason) and depression. There was a point in my life where I feared going to the gas station or grocery store because I wondered if someone would attack me or steal my baby. Sounds crazy, right? The panic attacks became the worst I had ever experienced. It was to the point that family became worried for me and had local police officers check on me. It was scary.

I needed help.

I write this for two reasons. One, as an outlet. Writing makes me feel better. Writing is a release for me. Two, I know that so many other women are struggling with PPD and anxiety just as I have and it is one of the scariest things anyone could go through, and I wish it on absolutely no one.

Post-partum depression feels like being stuck in a suffocating, dark tunnel, where you are completely alone, because no one can help you or understand you. There is a paralyzing fear that consumes you and you just don't know how to shake it off.

And why must we feel this way? We didn't ask for this to happen, right? Is it because we had a baby? Is this the payment we get for the gift we have been given? Why am I so sad when my baby is perfect? I have other friends who just couldn't have children themselves, shouldn't I be so lucky?? It sure can feel that way, sometimes...

But no, it is not that at all. What causes PPD though, are things like: lack of good sleep and rest, lack of family and social support, complications in labor and childbirth, excessive worry about finances and/or relationships, excessive worry about baby, the hormonal changes after birth, etc.

Mama, I am here to tell you that you are okay. It is not 100%, but 200% normal to go through this and feel this way. The excessive worry you are experiencing? It's because you love and care for your baby. It is so normal!

But PPD can be dangerous if it gets to the point of suicidal thoughts and ideation, or if you feel that you need to hurt yourself, your baby, or someone else close to you.

I personally never felt the urge to hurt anyone or my child, but I did go through a period of thinking I might go crazy and kill myself. THAT right there scared me more than anything else I had ever gone through in my life, hands down. I NEVER wanted to die, in fact, I feared death, but I was so consumed with thinking that what I was going through was too much and that is when I knew I needed help and needed to change something in my life.

Basically, anxiety comes in many different forms. Anxiety is a feeling linked with worried thoughts and associated physical changes. While anxiety is natural, anxiety disorders are extreme. Anxiety disorders involve intense fears with more severe physical responses that can interfere with a person’s daily life. There are many different types of anxiety disorders including Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Specific Phobia Disorder, Social Anxiety, and OCD.

I feel it is crucial to mention these factors about anxiety: Depression and anxiety tend to go hand in hand. Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide. Almost 75% of people with mental disorders remain untreated in developing countries with almost 1 million people taking their lives each year.

This is why we need help, and why we shouldn't just push anxiety, PPD, and depression to the side. A pill isn't necessarily the answer. Anxiety is a disorder; depression is an illness. Just like having the flu, depression and anxiety deserve to be treated as serious and those who suffer should never be disregarded. If there is anything that grinds my gears most about anxiety and depression, it is that there are people who exist and think that it's just a thing people go through, maybe even make up in their head, and they can get over it at the snap of a finger or by just thinking good thoughts. Sorry, it doesn't work that way and I am living proof of that.

Now that I placed the heavy stuff on the table, let's discuss ways to cope. These are ways that I have tried and work for me, but you can always do some research and look into what can work for you and as I mentioned in the disclaimer, you can always ask your doctor.

Breathing exercises. This doesn't always work for me, depending on the severity of the anxiety I am having, but it is usually one of the first things I try. There are many types of breathing techniques out there to try; one might work well for you while another won't do as good, and that is perfectly fine. I recommend trying several and seeing what helps you best. Personally I do a 4-3-7 breathing routine: breathe into your belly for 4 seconds, hold the breath for 3, and breath out for 7 seconds.

Mindfulness mediation and tapping. The next step I take is utilizing a guided meditation via YouTube. I also benefit from a technique called "tapping." It is a form of meditation where you practice breathing, tapping specific acupressure points on your body, and reciting mantras to yourself for positive thoughts. Tapping is believed to alter your brain and body systems. Some say it's a sham, and it just may be, but the fact of the matter is, it works for me and works for others, so here I am tapping my way out of anxiety.

Exercise. You do not need to be a body builder or run a marathon, surely. But moving your body and getting your heart rate up has been proven to boost your mood, help you sleep at night, and can be a great stress reliever. Personally, I take walks with my kiddo around the neighborhood and practice yoga, barre, and general light weight lifting.

Talking it out. Sometimes, you just need to put your thoughts out there. Call mom, or your best friend, or chat with your neighbor. We are all meant to be social beings. Isolating yourself does not help with anxiety and depression.

Gratitude journal. Every morning I write down just 3 things I am grateful for. It takes only 5 minutes at most, but really sit there and think about the things that make you happy and get you through your day. Studies show that when we focus on positivity, we really do suffer less from stress, anxiety, and depression!

Diet. How are you eating? If you tend to eat fast food and junk a lot, that could be a huge factor in the cause of your depression and anxiety. Gut health is very closely related to mental health because the microbiome inside your gut is made up of different kinds of bacteria, and they have a strong effect on your anxiety. If you alter the microbiome in your gut, you can induce the symptoms of anxiety. We know that the gut produces hormones, neurotransmitters and immune system signals that find their way to the nervous system, and vice versa. So make sure that you are consuming healthy foods!

Exposure therapy; retrain your brain. This can certainly be done at home on your own, but this may also be something you might want to consult your physician about. It is commonly used in those suffering from OCD and anxiety. Essentially, it involves facing your fears. Most of us having an anxiety episode tend to try to fight the mental and physical symptoms that we experience, but it has been shown that handling your fears head on can assist you in accepting your anxiety and eventually reducing the flare-ups of your anxiety attacks.

If you need someone to talk to and you are unable to reach someone you trust, please use Crisis Text Line. It is a free, 24/7 support for those in crisis. Text 741741 from anywhere in the US to text with a trained Crisis Counselor.

I truly hope that some part of this post helps you out. Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions and comments you may have!

Sources: psycom.net,healthline.com, bustle.com, crisistextline.org